Here is Cilia’s story.
Cilia is a middle-aged woman who is on a new path in her life. She is building a career as a financial advisor and must overcome many obstacles in the process. Some of her struggles include self-doubt and fear, which plagues most people as they move through the process of taking action, learning and reflecting, while on their path to success in any career endeavor.
At this time however, Cilia has another obstacle to deal with. She finds herself struggling to let go of conflicting feelings regarding her former husband. In her mind, Cilia knows that everything has been done and there is nothing more that she can do to help him work through his demons and addictions which was what ultimately ended their marriage.
Her heart however cannot help but feel the love they once shared and remember the qualities in him that she fell in love with. She worries for his safety and his life. She struggles with how to talk to her children about their father. He has uncharacteristically disconnected from them. She worries what impact all this will have on their emotional well being. She also notices that this personal conflict is getting in the way of her performance at work.
Cilia’s head is telling her to stay away from him because she knows from past experience and failed choices that it could be dangerous and likely to turn into a bad situation.
Her heart is telling her to go to him and show him that she still cares for his well-being and that the children need their father.
If you were in a similar struggle where your head was telling you one thing and your heart was telling you another, what would you do?
Every day decision-making can present a similar conflict between your head and your heart e.g. letting your underage son go to a party where you know alcohol will be served. Your head is telling you that he could get into trouble and your heart says that you trust him or your head says you trust him and your heart is saying he may conform to peer pressure.
Consider the following questions as a starting point:
What are the circumstances surrounding the situation that is making you feel the conflict at this time?
What do you have control over?
What is at stake?
What would put your mind and heart at ease?
What can you live with?
