How do you define trust?
How do you think lacking trust in yourself and in others can affect your day-to-day relationships?
Marty manages a department of employees and is having trouble motivating his staff to produce to the level he would like to see. Marty feels he has great rapport with each employee and regards them as people with a lot of potential if they put all their efforts into their work.
On any given day, Marty assigns specific people to different tasks. At some point during the day he walks around and asks if anyone needs any assistance and how things are coming along. He offers suggestions on how he would go about doing some of the tasks and shares some of his own operating techniques with them and the outcomes he experienced as a result, in hopes of motivating the staff to achieve similar outcomes and at the same time help them avoid mistakes that were made.
If you were in Marty’s shoes and wanted to motivate your department staff, what would you do differently?
As the employee, how could Marty best motivate you?
What role does trust play in this situation?
In what way is Marty possibly sabotaging new opportunities for growth and new learning for himself, his staff and the business?
K.G. Mills once defined trust as “Never looking back onto suggestion and never looking ahead to find a problem”.
Two people have been in a marriage or partnership for numerous years. In their years together, they’ve experienced happiness, despair, loss, laughter, love, anger, frustration, resentment, pride, celebration, excitement, pain, sorrow and success.
Throughout they have sacrificed, tolerated, forgiven, loved, laughed and transcended those moments when they were put to the test as friends, lovers, individuals, partners and parents.
Today however, they are separated. They are going through a roller coaster of feelings and emotions and struggling with decisions and choices. Their lives together are in many ways both similar to many couples yet undoubtedly very unique as no two are exactly alike.
If reading this touches you and you are at a crossroad, here are but a few questions to ask yourself as you take steps forward in your own life. It may help you look at yourself and your relationship in a different light and perhaps from a new perspective.
What specifically made me fall in love with my partner?
What has been a turning point in our relationship?
How have I changed over the years?
How have those changes made me feel more like me?
How much do I really want to be in this relationship?
What have I done to make this partnership work?
What am I willing to do to save it?
What is at stake?
What can I live with?
What can I live without?
What do I absolutely need from any relationship to be happy?
What are my personal values?
If I stay in this relationship how will I be honoring my values?
What values do my partner and I share as a couple?
Who can help me sort out my feelings?
Whatever the outcome tomorrow, having no regrets reaps peace of mind for those who are willing to do their homework today.
Here is a challenge for those of you who wish to experience more of those pleasant and productive days that for whatever reason seem so sparse. Keep a notebook handy and for at least 3 days, notice and write down the topics of your thoughts. Secondly, notice and write down words and sentences that you use often in conversations. At the end of the day review your notebook and ask yourself the following questions:
What am I noticing about myself?
What am I noticing about the people I talk to?
What ‘general feel’ do I project?
What do I subconsciously wish for? What do I get?
Am I usually thinking about what I “can’t” have or what I do have?
What do I focus more on, the things I don’t have or the ways I will get what I want?
How do I plan to be from day to day? Example: happy, angry, hopeful, miserable, content…
If you say, “It just happens, I never plan how I will feel or how I will be” then would you be willing to choose one way of ‘being’ to see what happens?
Example: “Today I will be curious or today I will be patient.”
*The more often you practice this exercise the more likely you will see change.
When will you start enjoying good days more often?
Share your thoughts with us …curious what they will be?
